by Tara Brown

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Sunday Brunch is where we ask an author a series of ridiculous questions that have little or nothing to do with books or reading, all in an attempt for you to get to know the person behind the books and maybe, just maybe…pick up one of their titles. Hope you enjoy!

 

BHR: You’re a new addition to the crayon box. What color would you be and why?

Tara:  Divine Brown, mostly because she’s that hooker who banged Hugh Grant.

 

BHR: What’s your favorite ’90s jam?

Tara: Is Da Funk by Daft Punk a wrong answer? I should have some bullshit philosophical answer like something from the Jagged Little Pill album but I was a bar star in the 90’s and never thought about suicide. I loved Beastie Boys and Run DMC. OMG It’s Like That, frig I love that song. I got drunk a lot.

 

BHR: If you could be any animal in the world, what animal would you be and why? name be?

Tara: Wolf, fast, cute, family animal, no flying – fuck that shit, and they are adaptable. They can live anywhere. They don’t need a saviour, they take care of business for themselves. I think my name would be epic like Mouthy Queen of the Moon. Queen for short.

 

BHR: If you were a stalker, would you be good at it?

Tara: If? Let’s let that answer it for me.

 

BHR: If you were on an island and could only bring three things, what would you bring?

Tara: Nick, he’s like a wolf as far as adaptability and survival goes and he brings a penis so that solves me surviving and getting sex. And sometimes he calls me queen. It’s mostly Sunday mornings. A bra. Heat chafe is a thing. A grape plant.

 

BHR: You are an alien, with your own spaceship – who do you abduct?

Tara: Firstly, I do many laps around the earth, creating a counter orbit and causing time to go backwards. Then I go back to Brad Pitt in Fight Club. And then when I get sick of that, or when he finally starts to cry from all the biting that is occurring, I go get Collin Firth because I suspect he’s into that. And he has an accent.

 

BHR: On a scale of 1 to 10, how intolerable do you find baby pictures on Facebook?

Tara: 7

 

BHR: What’s the most money you’ve ever drunkenly spent at a fast food joint?

Tara: It wasn’t drunkenly. It was around $36. I was in college and very emo sad and I sat in my car and ate till I had to open the door up and puke in the parking lot. Whether I ate after puking is my own business, so mind yours.

 

BHR: We come to your house for dinner, what are we eating?

Tara: Mexican. I used to work at this divey place with the best Baja ever. I am known as Tarasita in a few groups.

 

BHR: Who would you let punch you directly in the face?

Tara: My mom, a girl owes a debt. Maybe my sister. Same reason.

 

BHR: How old were you when you realised Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny probably never actually knew one another in real life?

Tara: 14. Don’t laugh, Leah!!!!!

 

BHR: Who was your favorite Spice Girl?

Tara: Posh. She was the smartest. She came off as dumb as a bag of shit, never said much. But then as the other bitches are doing not much, she landed the HOTTEST soccer player ever, fuck add him to the alien list, and totally recreated herself. She did the posh thing to keep it cool, never shamed herself. She acted like a lady in the streets and a whore in the sheets. I suspect she’s also a biter.

 

BHR: What is your favorite kind of cookie?

Tara: Ginger snaps

 

BHR: What’s the weirdest place you’ve ever unintentionally vomited?

Tara: Probably the parking lot at McDonalds during the emo thing.

 

BHR: What’s the weirdest place you’ve ever intentionally vomited?

Tara: In my bustier, it’s a weird story. This guy had a new car and he was giving me and my friend a ride home after the bar. I said I had to puke and he said the car was brand new so I pulled open my shirt and lost it in my bustier. Proud moment?

 

BHR: Who do you just hate the most? 😉

Tara: I have so many political answers. Let’s go with Russell Crow.

 

BHR: Where would you go in a time machine?

Tara: Jane Austen’s house

 

BHR: What is your favorite quote?

Tara: The person, be it gentleman or lady, who has not pleasure in a good novel, must be intolerably stupid. By Jane Austen

 

BHR: If you were an ice cream flavor, what would you be?

Tara: Something with nuts, let’s be real. Like Salty nuts. Salted nut bag? Is that a flavour?

 

Check out this funny ladies links below, but before you do that – enter to win a Tara Brown ebook of choice (not all options are pictured)!

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About Tara Brown

Split personalities? I won’t rule it out.
A little crazy? Possibly.
Boring? NEVER!

I am the award-winning, international bestselling mystery writer, Tara Brown–but that’s not all. Some days I’m the cook, others I’m the maid, but mostly I’m the chauffeur to my two darling girls. Oh, and I’m always the dog trainer and cat wrangler. And on some occasions, I fancy myself a bit of a con artist–I believe I have my husband convinced that changing kitty litter is bad for women.

Hope you have a great day and, of course, happy reading!


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